This past fall has been stressful and my body really took a toll. Between teaching new classes (one being an AP course), completing my principal internship, taking classes, trying to be present to help my twins with their homework. I would sneak out to my garage studio and do some painting, feeling guilty I wasn’t being “productive”. I felt like I was a step away from a break down. Then in December I did the unthinkable: I applied for the doctoral program. January came and I as I was taking my last class for this current degree it hit me. I’m tired. I can’t go on. Add in a few health problems poked up, my kids were struggling with school, and I was struggling to keep everything going, keep all the balls in the air.

And I realized something had to give. So I withdrew my doctorate application, let go of a few responsibilities I had volunteered for, started to say no more, and put more focus on my family.

It has been an adjustment. At times it’s very freeing. And other times, I have this nagging feeling that I should be doing more. Part of it is my own baggage of not feeling good enough or not ever being enough. And honestly, I finally had a big talk with myself in my art journal and told myself to get over it.

As of May I will have two master’s degrees, a certification to be a principal, a challenging job that I love, a healthy-happy family, and it’s enough. I am enough.

Three years ago I bought this book by Brene Brown. “I thought it was just me” A book about imperfection and inadequacy. I have only been able to read one chapter. Because it hit too close to home. I’m starting it again. Maybe I can learn to be a little more understanding of myself.

Lots of making our own fun and park dates

Attended our first renaissance fair

where we met this guy

Plus we’ve spent lots of time at the pool

And I’ve managed to fit in a bit of art

Hope your summer is off to a great start!

Another benefit is that my kids can be out with me and paint. Ever since they were babies they’ve been with me doing whatever I was doing. A neighbor recently stopped by while I was painting with my girl in the studio. She commented “you’re one of those moms who does crafty stuff with their kids”. She hates to do crafty stuff and doing messy things with her kids is torture.
I know she didn’t mean it rude. Not everyone likes messy crafts or paint under their nails or their kids being messy.

Me? I’m a mom who needs time to be creative and I’ve recognized that if my kids can paint with me, then I can paint too. And, I love seeing my kids be creative, seeing them make something and enjoy the process.

When the weather is nice I like to have the garage door open while I’m painting. We have a lot of birds in the yard. And this signals to the neighbor kids that the studio is “open”. And when they see me with paint they are drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.
So I started setting up a card table in the garage and turning them loose with markers, watercolors, and letting them create away.

And this is view I get from my work space

Having a group of kids painting and creating and enjoying the process, makes me pretty happy. Maybe it’s because I’m a science teacher and used to supervising students with messy (or disgusting) labs. Or maybe it’s because watching them makes me feel like I’m 8 years old, with the confidence of a kid.
So if you’re in the area, and the garage door is open, stop by. I’m sure there will be much art making this summer.

trying to be more “open”

remembering when I was brave and took chances, I was also much younger

and remembering where my strength comes from

poppies bloomed

clematis bloomed

twins graduated from kindergarten

busy month, looking forward to summer soon!

First up, you have to check out this place

You can find very cheap art and craft stuff that artists and interior decorators have donated. (I was in last week and got a few goodies I’ll post later.) If you sew, you need to check this place out fabric samples and remnants!! Currently they have a large pile of leather scraps in bold colors-which I may have to go bad and get.
Now buying more stuff is great but you can also donate your extra art and craft stuff. I’m thinking of some of the projects I never completed or the kits I never got out of the box.
Best of all it’s a half a block from one of my favorite thrift stores!

I have a small weakness for suitcases. If you’re local to the Boise area, the small table and black make up case came from Stop and say hi to Cheri!

My next score deserves the a life time achievement type of award. This is something that I have wanted for a very long time, something I’ve rarely found, and when I have found it has been way too much money.
Introducing: My map drawers!

This was $14.99 at Goodwill. I nearly squealed when I saw this thing sitting on it’s side. (okay I did squeal audibly which got my kids attention>)

I knew there was no way I could leave with out it. The only problem was I had the car and my sweet hubby with the truck was at the gym on the other end of town.
Sure, I could have paid for it and came back the next day with the hubby and truck. That would have been smart.
But, I couldn’t leave it there. So I pulled my car around to the loading area and the teen guy working there was very doubtful that it would fit. And it didn’t, it hung out the back of my wagon by a foot. Goodwill doesn’t have rope or flags or anything to help tie stuff down for liability reasons. So I did what every desperate thrifter does and improvised. I rigged a rope out of plastic grocery bags, tied the hatch down and drove home slowly.
My kids thought I had lost it and were really worried the whole ride home.
But we got it home with no problems, and I wrestled it out and under my table in the garage-which is another story which my husband asked me not to share with him.

All the drawers work, and one had a new block of Fabriano watercolor paper! So double score!!

Which was cool, but I wasn’t sure where I would go with this.
So I grabbed red paint and added a few hearts, but that seemed dumb so I made lots of hearts.

And the more I looked at this mass of hearts the more I saw big Dahila-type flowers.

And the finished result makes me ridiculously happy.