It’s been nearly a year since I’ve blogged. I made the crazy decision to continue with a second master’s degree last spring to become a principal. By the summertime I was really wishing I hadn’t continued on, but once I committed I felt had to finish. Started a new teaching job at a local high school. It was my first time back in the classroom full time in nearly 6 years. Sure, I had “taught” at an online school for the past two years. But being in the classroom is a whole ‘nother ball game!
This past fall has been stressful and my body really took a toll. Between teaching new classes (one being an AP course), completing my principal internship, taking classes, trying to be present to help my twins with their homework. I would sneak out to my garage studio and do some painting, feeling guilty I wasn’t being “productive”. I felt like I was a step away from a break down. Then in December I did the unthinkable: I applied for the doctoral program. January came and I as I was taking my last class for this current degree it hit me. I’m tired. I can’t go on. Add in a few health problems poked up, my kids were struggling with school, and I was struggling to keep everything going, keep all the balls in the air.
And I realized something had to give. So I withdrew my doctorate application, let go of a few responsibilities I had volunteered for, started to say no more, and put more focus on my family.
It has been an adjustment. At times it’s very freeing. And other times, I have this nagging feeling that I should be doing more. Part of it is my own baggage of not feeling good enough or not ever being enough. And honestly, I finally had a big talk with myself in my art journal and told myself to get over it.
As of May I will have two master’s degrees, a certification to be a principal, a challenging job that I love, a healthy-happy family, and it’s enough. I am enough.
Three years ago I bought this book by Brene Brown. “I thought it was just me” A book about imperfection and inadequacy. I have only been able to read one chapter. Because it hit too close to home. I’m starting it again. Maybe I can learn to be a little more understanding of myself.
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Summer has flown by. I spent the month of June taking a class every morning until 11.(remind me again why I though it was a good idea to continue my education after my masters?) Then running kids to swim lessons, other appointments and just getting caught up on the house and yard. Finished class last friday as my allergies went crazy and by the weekend I was stuffed up with swollen eyes. After going to the dr today I found out I have a sinus and double ear infection. Awesome!
But here’s some of the fun things I’ve squeezed in.
Lots of making our own fun and park dates
Attended our first renaissance fair
where we met this guy
Plus we’ve spent lots of time at the pool
And I’ve managed to fit in a bit of art
Hope your summer is off to a great start!
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Here in the Boise area the “real” (those who display or sell) artists will host “open studio” nights where the public is invited to come in and check out the space.
My studio is in the garage. Crammed between the furnace and my husband’s old jeep. It may sound a bit ghetto or trashy but it works perfectly for me.
I can start projects and leave them out and not worry that I am cluttering the dinning table or my computer keyboard- both things I have done in the past. And I can leave it a mess. No one has to see my piles!
Another benefit is that my kids can be out with me and paint. Ever since they were babies they’ve been with me doing whatever I was doing. A neighbor recently stopped by while I was painting with my girl in the studio. She commented “you’re one of those moms who does crafty stuff with their kids”. She hates to do crafty stuff and doing messy things with her kids is torture.
I know she didn’t mean it rude. Not everyone likes messy crafts or paint under their nails or their kids being messy.
Me? I’m a mom who needs time to be creative and I’ve recognized that if my kids can paint with me, then I can paint too. And, I love seeing my kids be creative, seeing them make something and enjoy the process.
When the weather is nice I like to have the garage door open while I’m painting. We have a lot of birds in the yard. And this signals to the neighbor kids that the studio is “open”. And when they see me with paint they are drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.
So I started setting up a card table in the garage and turning them loose with markers, watercolors, and letting them create away.
And this is view I get from my work space
Having a group of kids painting and creating and enjoying the process, makes me pretty happy. Maybe it’s because I’m a science teacher and used to supervising students with messy (or disgusting) labs. Or maybe it’s because watching them makes me feel like I’m 8 years old, with the confidence of a kid.
So if you’re in the area, and the garage door is open, stop by. I’m sure there will be much art making this summer.
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Some days I feel like I have things pretty much together. Not perfect but it works. But a lot of times I feel like I’m still floundering, trying to find my way. So I have been putting these in buy art journal and painting my way through things.
trying to be more “open”
remembering when I was brave and took chances, I was also much younger
and remembering where my strength comes from
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May was a busy month and now that I think about it, so was April. Heck the entire spring seemed to have blown past me.
I graduated with my masters degree
twins graduated from kindergarten
busy month, looking forward to summer soon!
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I have not fallen off the face of the earth I’ve just been buried in my life. I have been painting quite a bit though.
Here’s how this painting evolved.
From a female to a sunflower.
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Welcome to the first of new posts: Boise Field Trips highlighting the best places to thrift and discover unique things.
When I thrift I have a rough plan of what places I am going to hit depending on what part of town I’m in and if the kids are with me :)
First up, you have to check out this place
You can find very cheap art and craft stuff that artists and interior decorators have donated. (I was in last week and got a few goodies I’ll post later.) If you sew, you need to check this place out fabric samples and remnants!! Currently they have a large pile of leather scraps in bold colors-which I may have to go bad and get.
Now buying more stuff is great but you can also donate your extra art and craft stuff. I’m thinking of some of the projects I never completed or the kits I never got out of the box.
Best of all it’s a half a block from one of my favorite thrift stores!
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