When my babies were very little I was so obsessed with taking pictures of them, I wanted to capture each little moment because this was such a long time coming and I knew that I’d probably never have a baby again. But then I wanted photos of me with the babies, I didn’t care that I hadn’t lost the baby weight or looked like I hadn’t slept in months, I needed to document that yes I was there too! Since my husband was at work during the day, I was on my own and it was hard to get those sweet shots of mother and child nursing, rocking, or singing. Those pictures in my mind that said “motherhood” to me.
I got creative. I got really good at taking shots of us with arm out holding the camera. I used I propped the camera on a book, set the timer, set up a tripod and used the timer again. Then I started taking lots of self portraits thinking that I hated having my picture being taken, so I would just take a lot of photos to get over it. It seemed a little odd and I had to ignore the curious stares I’d get, but it got easier.
September 2007 photo booth
Another reason I like self-portraits is to capture a specific moment. When my babies were still babies, I would sometimes be packing them at the same time, a kid on each hip. This to me was one of the defining things about having twins. I wanted to capture it before they got too big. Even though they still want me to pack them both!
I could critique this photo, wonder why I thought that stripped shirt was a good idea! Maybe I could have taken it somewhere else in the house with less background stuff. I could think of all kinds of things. But instead I look at how I was strong enough to carry them both in the womb, I was strong enough to pack them both on my hip if needed, and I’m strong enough to take whatever comes my way.
I love this one I took at my parent’s farm, July 07.
I love the early morning sunrise on my face, I’m looking east to the Teton Mountains, and I’m wondering if I will ever live there again. This is home, my roots, and I always hope that the road I’m on will take me back there.
Looking through my library I’m almost embarrassed how many self portraits I’ve taken in the past few years. I forgot I had an entire album of these!